The New Status Symbol Is Being Hard to Reach
There was a time when being busy felt aspirational. The packed calendar, the cross-country flights, the inbox that never quite reached zero and the inevitable “Sorry for my delayed response, things have been crazy lately” all signaled a life in demand. If everyone wanted your time, your attention and your presence, surely you must be doing something right.
But somewhere along the way, the signals changed.
The people I admire most aren’t the ones answering emails from the airport lounge or taking calls during dinner. They’re the ones who disappear for long weekends without apology. The ones who let texts wait until morning because they’re sitting around a table with people they love. The ones who can spend an afternoon unreachable, not because they’re trying to be elusive, but because they’ve decided that not everything deserves immediate attention.
In a world where everyone can reach us instantly, being hard to reach has started to feel quietly luxurious.
I don't mean this in an exclusive way. Or in a “my assistant will get back to your assistant” way. More in the sense that attention has become one of the rarest and most valuable resources we have (I mean consider the average attention span today), and the people who seem rich in life are often the ones who spend it most carefully.
Luxury used to mean access. Access to the right room, the right reservation, the right invitation. It increasingly feels more like having the freedom to decide which rooms deserve your presence in the first place.
An unrushed morning.
A phone left in another room.
A dinner that lasts longer than expected because no one checked the time.
A weekend that is entirely yours.
The irony is that many of us worked to build lives we wouldn’t need a vacation from, only to discover that we’ve recreated scarcity in a different form. Not scarcity of money, but scarcity of attention, rest and presence.
Maybe that’s why one of the most freeing phrases in the English language is: I’m not available.
Not forever. Just for the things that pull us away from the people, places and moments that make life beautiful.
Living abundantly was never about having access to everything. It’s always bee about discerning and prioritizing what matters most.
